


Anything You Need At Anytime At All

by dejties (dumbmichael)



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Fluff, M/M, Nightmares, but mentioned, they aren't explicit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-22
Updated: 2017-02-22
Packaged: 2018-09-26 05:23:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9864833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dumbmichael/pseuds/dejties
Summary: “Hey, Raphael.”“Yes, fledgeling?”“Thanks for talking with me. I really needed it.” Simon leans back on the couch.“Of course, baby.” Raphael replies and Simon is smiling wider than he has in days.or 5 times Simon needs Raphael + 1 time Raphael needs Simon





	

**Author's Note:**

> lmao i am the Worst but I wanted to write saphael and i have no impulse control
> 
> im supposed to be writing a long roadtrip jimon au but this happened. keep a look out for that though bc im super duper excited about it tbh!!!
> 
> title and inspiration from anything by catfish and the bottlemen bc that's The Saphael Song!!

**One;**

Simon’s pretty sure he’s never actually called Raphael, though the elder vampire’s number has been saved in his phone since he first turned. If he needed Raphael, he was usually within arms reach. Ever since the thing with Camille, he cannot seem to get back in Raphael’s good graces.

Regardless, he looks for his contact and presses the call button before he can second guess himself.

It takes four rings before Simon hears Raphael’s voice.

“What is it, fledgeling?” He sighs. It’s obvious that the clan leader was asleep, but Simon really needs to talk to him.

“How are you?” Simon asks. He honestly doesn’t want to talk to Raphael about how he’s doing, but he’s nervous to bring up what he really wants.

“Fine, Simon.” It’s clear to Simon that Raphael is still very much upset with him, even though Camille was caught, in the way he talks to him. “Why did you call?”

Simon takes a deep breath and finally spits it out, “I’m having nightmares again.” 

Raphael is silent for almost three minutes and Simon is scared he’s going to hang up. 

“And?” He says eventually.

“It’s just that you talked me through them when I lived at the hotel and I know you hate me, but you really helped. Also, you’re the only one who knows about them.” He explains.

“Is your shadowhunter friend not aware of these nightmares?” 

“Clary? No, I haven’t told her and besides, she’s always busy.” Simon admits, picking at Magnus’ silk sheets. It’s dark in the guest room aside for the minimal light peaking through the blind and Simon really wishes he could sleep more than anything.

“I’m busy too.” Raphael points out.

“I know. I know. Just please, please help me, Raphael.” Simon pleads, I need you.” 

Raphael gives one of his famous long-suffering sighs, “What do you need me to do?”

Simon sits up straighter, feeling hopeful. “Could you play the piano for me? That always helped me sleep better. It would mean so much.”

“Sure, fledgeling.” There’s shuffling on the other line that Simon is sure is the sound of Raphael leaving his bed. He can almost imagine Raphael walking gracefully to the room two doors down from his bedroom, where is piano is, in his silk pajamas. Or maybe it’s one of those nights where he’s wearing just a plain t-shirt and flannel pants. Simon hopes that it’s the latter. He likes the way Raphael looks in clothes other than his suits.

Simon used to sit in that exact room when the nightmares were really bad. Sometimes he would join in with his guitar. Nostalgia hits him hard and his eyes well up. Simon would be lying if he said he didn’t try to suck his tears back in. 

Soon enough, he hears a soft melody through his phone speaker. Immediately, a sense of comfort falls over Simon knowing that’s it’s Raphael’s hands constructing the tune. Simon isn’t sure if it’s something already penned by a pianist hundreds of years ago or Raphael is composing this off the top of his head, but Simon loves it either way.

He lays down and puts the phone on speaker beside his pillow. His eyelids are getting heavy and he softly whispers a thank you before letting sleep overcome his senses. He’s sure that Raphael didn’t hear him over the sweet sound of his fingers on the keys, but he dreams with a smile on his face that night. Nightmare free.

Long after Simon has fallen asleep, Raphael stops playing and says ever so softly, “Goodnight, Baby.” Then, he hangs up.

**Two;**

Simon lasts another week and a half before calling the clan leader again.

He was drinking with Magnus, but the warlock has long since gone to bed with Alec and Simon began to feel lonely. 

Currently, he’s walking the streets of Brooklyn. Well, stumbling.

This time it takes three rings before Simon hears the click of Raphael answering his call.

“Raphael!” He nearly yells into the phone. There are few people nearby, but they all turn to look at him. Simon doesn’t notice.

“Dios, Simon. Why are you screaming?” Raphael sounds mad and this upset Simon. He frowns dramatically into his phone.

“Because you answered. I miss your voice.” Simon slurs, sadly.

“Are you drunk?” Raphael inquires.

“That’s crazy, Raphael.” He says, sounding insulted. “Of course, I’m drunk.” He giggles at his own pathetic joke and hears Raphael scoffs.

“Where are you?” Raphael sounds exhausted.

Simon looks around and doesn’t recognize any of the streets or businesses around him which is unusual because he knows Brooklyn like the back of his hand.

“I’m not sure.” He ultimately confesses. Raphael huffs and Simon feels the urge to comment on it. “You sigh a lot.”

“It’s because you wear me out, fledgeling. How long ago did you leave Magnus’?” Raphael wants to know.

“I don’t know. Half an hour ago.” Simon guesses.

“I’m coming for you, Simon. Please stay where you are.” Raphael commands him.

Suddenly, Simon’s intoxicated mind registers that he’s very lost and panic sets in. “Please hurry, Raphael. I’m scared. I need you.” There’s tears welling up in his eyes as he sits on the curb in front of him.

“I’ll see you soon, Simon. Don’t move.” He repeats and hangs up.

When the older vampire finds Simon ten minutes later, he’s outside of an out-of-business cafe laying down on his side with his eyes closed.

“Fledgeling.” He says, crouching beside him. “Simon.” Raphael raise his voice a bit and Simon opens his eyes.

“Raphael?” He asks, drowsily.

“Let’s get you home.” Raphael tells him before gathering the young vampire in his arms bridal style. Simon instantly rests his head against Raphael’s chest as he carries him towards Magnus’.

He slowly opens his eyes again and Raphael meets them. “Am I dreaming?” 

“Yes. Now, close your eyes so you can continue to rest.” Deep down Simon knows that this isn’t a dream, but he does as he’s told.

“Okay, Raphael. Thank you.” With the gently motion of Raphael carrying him and the warmth of his chest, Simon is asleep in seconds. 

When he wakes up the next morning, his hangover is nothing compared to the ache of missing Raphael.

**Three;**

“I have a favor to ask.” Simon says as soon as Raphael picks up the phone.

“It seems you’re always need favors lately, fledgeling.” Raphael reminds him.

Simon would be blushing if he could blush anymore. “I need a suit.”

“You think I’m going to let you borrow a suit again? You’ve ruined nearly every one I’ve loaned you.” Raphael accuses.

“I know, but I don’t have any and Magnus is throwing a party for Max’s first rune. All of my clothes are nerdy and far too casual.” 

“Simon, I’m very busy.” Raphael exhales.

“I know.” Simon repeats. “Just. Please, Raphael. I need your help.”

“I’ll be at Magnus’ after sundown with some suits.” The older vampire caves.

“Thank you, Raphael.” Simon says, but the other line had already gone dead.

**Four;**

The party goes only slightly amiss (if you could call most of his friends hallucinating, ‘slightly amiss’), but by the end of it, Simon feels a bit melancholic. Truthfully, he knows exactly why.

His thumb hovers over the call button before he tosses his phone on Magnus’ coffee table. He really cannot call Raphael just because he sad and he misses him. But he’s so tempted to do exactly that. 

It’s just that the whole group of people he’s met over the past few weeks have really begun to feel like actual friends to him. Alec doesn’t roll his eyes at everything he says anymore, Jace has become someone vent to (not that he’ll take Jace’s advice ever again), Magnus is like a way older brother to him, and Isabelle has always been kind to him. It should make Simon happy. Though, he can’t help but feel tonight would’ve been much better with Raphael there.

So, of course he gives in a calls Raphael.

The first two times he calls, it goes to voicemail and Simon is sure that Raphael has fully given up on Simon. Who would blame him? He’s just a constant nuisance to him. 

But on the third try, he finally answers.

“Seriously, what is it now?” Raphael sounds angry and it brings Simon’s mood down more.

“I’m sorry I shouldn’t have called. You’re definitely doing something more important I’ll go.” Simon rambles. He doesn’t end the call yet. Despite feeling bad about upsetting Raphael, he hopes that Raphael will stop him. He does.

“Wait, Simon. What is bothering you?” 

“I don’t know. I feel sad.” He shrug, aware that Raphael cannot see him.

“You called me because you feel sad?” Raphael inquires.

“Yeah. I wanted to talk to you. Regardless of the fact that most of the time we do talk, I annoy you, you make me feel better. I like the banter.” Simon is nervous admitting this to him, but for some reason, he trusts Raphael won’t insult him or laugh at him.

“You only annoy me sometimes.” Raphael discloses.

Simon smiles at that. “Am I annoying you now?”

“Not really. I’m just glad I don’t have to run all over the city trying to find you.” Raphael laughs. Well, he doesn’t laugh so much as huff in amusement.

Simon winces at the memory, “Sorry about that.”

“It’s alright. I wasn’t doing anything.” Raphael’s voice has adopted a soft tone that reminds him of when Simon would have nightmares at the hotel and Raphael would whisper to Simon in Spanish about how he’d be okay. He’d like to think he’s the only one who gets to hear Raphael talk like this. “Anything specific bothering you, baby?”

“I miss the clan.” _I miss you_ is what he means to say, but he refrains.

“I think they miss you too. At least Lily does.” Raphael tells him with a chuckle.

Simon takes an unnecessary breath and runs his hand through his hair, “It’s nice having a support system like that. See I love Clary, but she’s kind of selfish sometimes in that she only cares about her own problems. I know she has a lot going on, but so do I. Sure, me not being able to be with my family and my blood related issues aren’t world-ending but,” Simon pauses, “I don’t know.” He tacks on the end of his small speech so it makes him baring his soul seem a bit more casual.

“I understand. Maybe we can look into a visit to the hotel soon. Lily would be thrilled.” Raphael offers.

“That’d be great.” Simon grins, happy to take baby steps back into the clan. “Hey, Raphael.”

“Yes, fledgeling?” 

“Thanks for talking with me. I really needed it.” Simon leans back on the couch.

“Of course, baby.” Raphael replies and Simon is smiling wider than he has in days.

**Five;**

This time it isn’t Simon who calls Raphael. After another failed training session, Alec get’s frustrated and snatches Simon’s phone from where it was laying on the bench in the training room.

“I’m calling Raphael. He’s the only one who seems to know how to train you. I’m not a vampire. I can’t train you properly. Talk to him and ask him to continue your training. It’s the only way you’ll stay alive out there.” Alec demands. Simon nods, taking the phone and the shadowhunter leaves the room.

“Hello?” Raphael answers.

“Hey, Raphael. I’ve been thinking.” Simon begins.

“Dios, what do you want?” 

“Well,” Simon begins, drawing out the word, “You mentioned me visiting the hotel soon and I have a suggestion.”

“And what is that?” The vampire leader prompts.

“Maybe you could begin training me again?” Simon offers.

Raphael sighs and asks, “And why would I do that?”

“You see, Alec has more or less given up on training me. He says that it will never be as effective as another vampire training me and you’re the only one who would make any progress.” Simon explains. Raphael hums and Simon knows he’s going to have to convince him more.

“I’ll be such a good student and I will barely talk and I will do as you say and you really won’t regret this. I promise, Raphael.” Simon attempts to persuade him.

“I am not sure, Simon. Most of the clan has not forgiven you just yet. I don’t know if I’ve forgiven you. You put us all in danger when you let Camille out.” 

“Raphael, if you don’t do this I’ll be in danger constantly. I need you, Raphael.” Simon begs.

“Okay, but only once a week. Then if it goes well, we'll see about doing it more frequently.” Raphael agrees.

“Thank you so much, Raphael. I’m so grateful.” Simon says.

“You’re welcome. Come over to DuMort tomorrow after sun down. Don’t make me regret trusting you again.” The last part hurt Simon, but he understands. 

They hang up and Simon can’t help but hope that he doesn’t fuck this up.

**\+ One;**

They train a few times following and Simon is pretty pleased with himself. Raphael only sighs at him a few times each session and Simon considers that a win. Raphael hasn’t asked him to get out yet at any point either, so he thinks he must be doing well.

Today though, Raphael seems off. They’re practicing fighting by the use of their vampire instincts, but Simon seems to be getting the upper hand in some of the fights. And yeah, Simon’s getting better but he won’t be that good for a while so he know’s something is off with Raphael.

“Raphael, stop.” The younger vampire commands when he has the clan leader to the floor. “What’s wrong? You look like a mess.” It’s true. His hair isn’t styled as perfect as it usually is, his button down is wrinkled underneath his jacket, and his eyes are bloodshot.

Raphael sits up and shakes his head, “It’s nothing, Simon. I just couldn’t sleep. I’m fine.”

“You couldn’t sleep? Isn’t that my thing?” Simon jokes and Raphael glares at him. “Sorry, let’s just continue.” He proposes and takes on his fighting stance again. Raphael accepts and they get back into it.

Hours later, Simon is seconds away from falling asleep when his phone rings. He frowns when he sees Raphael’s contact pop up.

“Raphael?” He picks up, concern slipping into his voice.

“Simon?” Raphael sounds worn out. More than usual.

“Raphael, what’s wrong?” The other side of the line is silent for so long but Simon stays patient. 

“I don’t wanna tell you.” Raphael confesses. Simon pauses, unsure how to reply.

“Why not? Are you okay?” Simon’s beyond worried now. He’s never this vulnerable and Simon doesn’t know how to react. “Do you want me to come to the hotel?”

“Not yet. I want to talk to you.” 

“You can’t talk to me and not tell me what going on.” Simon points out. “Are you drunk?”

Raphael chuckles dryly and Simon doesn’t like the sound. “Painfully sober. Too sober to admit that I miss you.”

Simon is floored. He didn’t know Raphael care about him. Like at all. To hear the guy he was sure didn’t feel anything for him but annoyance, tell him he misses him is something Simon never dared to think about.

“You miss me?” Simon asks, skeptical. 

“Yes.” Raphael confirms. “It’s hard for me to talk about how I feel. I’m not good with emotions or attachment and for a long point in my life, I felt I didn’t deserve to have someone to care about. But I do care about someone.” Simon is sure Raphael is crying by now and the young vampire’s undead heart aches, but he let’s him continue.

“When you betrayed me, you broke my heart, Simon. If I didn’t have people to lead, I would’ve spent days in bed like a melodramatic teenager. You hurt me so bad, Simon. Now, look at me. Every time you call, I come running to you. Like nothing happened.” 

“I’m so sor-” Simon tries to say.

“Don’t apologize. I want you to need me. I want you to call me when you’re hurting. I love that I can make you feel better. I know that you aren’t using me and would never and I love being needed.” Raphael rushes out and it’s getting difficult to understand him, but if it means that he can help Raphael, he will try his hardest to decipher Raohael’s heartbreaking babble.

“Raphael, I-” He’s once again cut off by the crying man.

“Simon, shut up.” He says, clearly and seriously. “I love it when you call me and I love your stupid nerdy jokes. I love being able to help you through your nightmares and to comfort you. I love the way you smile and I love being able to protect you. Dios, baby, I love you.”

“Raphael can I speak now?” Simon asks when he’s sure Raphael is done.

“I suppose.” The leader sounds calmer now and Simon is glad.

“I’m not trying to one-up your incredible declaration and I definitely won’t because that was beautiful and as I’m talking, I’m looking for shoes and pulling on a pair of pants,” He begins. “But I love you too, Raphael. I’ve been in love with you since I began living at the hotel with you. I fell in love with how gentle you could be, how great of a leader you are, and how you care immensely about every single one of the vampires in the clan even if you don’t want to admit to it. I fell in love with how selfless and beautiful that you are. Inside in out. You are a fantastic man and one I’m lucky to have the privilege of loving.” He hears Raphael start to cry again, but he keeps going.

“Raphael, I am upset at the thought of you going a whole second thinking your feelings were unrequited. Because they aren’t and I’m positive I will absolutely love you for all of eternity.”

“Are you on your way to the hotel?” Is how Raphael replies and Simon chuckles.

“I’m turning onto the street now.”

“Good.” He can practically hear Raphael smile over the phone. Even if it is impossible. “I need you, Simon.”

**Author's Note:**

> please please please send me jimon or saphael prompts on my [tumblr](https://verysapphic.tumblr.com) bc im so inspired lately and i've taken to writing when i'm upset and it helps so much!


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